@hayes_t_r: Size does matter-just ask Pluto.
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@ANastyGorilla: My brother's so homophobic that if he dropped his keys in San Francisco he'd kick them to Oakland before bending over to pick them up.
@FeelingMervis: UGH. When I text girls that I have standards, I really need to stop abbreviating the word standards to STDs.
@theroneman: [stacks of books on floor] Impressive, son. [son places pizza on one stack, soda & cookies on others] "Yep; perfect height" [turns on Xbox]