@ThaJawn: *skips away in terror
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@ourvoyagemusic: I wonder why the ingredients on a snickers wrapper says "May contain almonds." What, is the guy who drops in the almonds a slacker?
@1evilidiot: [couples therapy] "Have you tried sexy lingerie?" me: yeah but it just creeps her out.
@TitansHomer: I'm the guy at the gym laying face down on the treadmill telling everyone "I'm ok, I'm ok"