@jeremiahtolbert: Slightly obscure nerd jokes are best nerd jokes.
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@KeetPotato: [uses my last wish to be reincarnated as a bird] me: [as my dad vomits directly in my mouth] "i did not think this through"
@OutOnTheMoors: Since my wish is to be cremated rather than buried, I'd like the legend on the urn to read: "Well done".
@squirrel74wkgn: She says, the kids want to go to the circus. I say, that I just saved us $400 by jumping out of the kid's closet wearing a clown costume.
@markydoodoo: IDEA: UberQuiet. You pay a little bit more but your driver never says a word to you.