@Brampersandon_: *slowly releases air from a balloon during your wedding vows*
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@david8hughes: [at work] "Mornin, Margaret." "Mornin. You're late today." [looks at watch] "Not as late as your dead husband though, am I?"
@WilliamRodgers: Always be yourself... Unless you run into one of your exes... Then... Be a WAY more successful version of yourself...
@Donna_McCoy: Welcome to Passive Aggressive Club. We all got here early, but you just take your time.