@Brampersandon_: *slowly releases air from a balloon during your wedding vows*
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@Maxine12333: The gym is like church to some people. No matter what they do all week, they think they can erase it with one visit.
@AlexvanBeek: I'm not saying it's been a while, but, the last time a girl got down on her knees for me, she showed me how to tie my shoelaces.
@StickyickyBuns: My mom always told me to treat people how I want to be treated but... It's not nice to just spank people & pull their hair.
@briancthayer: *licks excess icing off mixer & spoon* Wife: Aww, thanks hun! Me: For what? W: Doing my dishes! M: Oh, I didn-- W: ... M: You're welcome.