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@UncleDuke1969: "Hi-" "I have a boyfriend." "Do y-" "I have a boyfriend." "Excuse m-" "I have a boyfriend." "I JUST WANNA KNOW WHERE THE BATHROOM IS."
@PJTLynch: I was laughing at these nerds for wearing their backpack over two shoulders instead of one, and they got so mad they jumped out of the plane
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Boss: We're all human. We all make mistakes. Me: [holds up a sign from the back of the conference room that says #NotAllHumans]