@shawnspree: Smile and the world smiles with you. Laugh and the world wants you to stop looking at your phone and drive.
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@NoorShamma: Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Mars has 2 moons. Venus has no moons. Do you see where I'm getting at? Men, GIVE BACK OUR MOON!
@Rollmaninoz: Caesar: friends, Romans countryman lend me your ear... [2 days later] *Caesar opens mailbox* "oh FFS Van Gogh IT'S A SAYING!!!!!'
@brothasoul: Mitt Romney: "I believe marriage should be between a man and a woman, and a woman, and a woman..."