@shawnspree: Smile and the world smiles with you. Laugh and the world wants you to stop looking at your phone and drive.
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@SuperRandomish: If you walk up to me with a plate of food and say "Matt?" My name will always be Matt.
@riesypiecey: Interviewer: How would you describe yourself? Me: Verbally. But I've also prepared a dance.
@StevenAmiri: Keep "Christ in "Christopher Lloyd" because without it, he'd be "Opher Lloyd" and that sounds like "overlord." Huh? I'll have a Sprite.
@SkylarGarland: "I'll catch up with you, I just have to make ONE more joke on Twitter" (How I'd die in a horror movie)