@blondediva11: Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
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@SteveSuckington: Welcome to Gullible Victim Club. Lol. I can't believe you showed up. Now gimme your purse or I'll stab you.
@PaperWash: vampire waiter: would you like to order? customer: I'll have a steak vampire waiter: [sweating nervously] what...wuddya need a stake for?
@panmidwest: THERAPIST: what's wrong? WIFE: he always narrates real life- ME: she complained WIFE: see! ME: she exclaimed WIFE: ME: she was speechless