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@blondediva11: Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
@PoorEvelyn: Sometimes words just aren't enough.
And that's why we have middle fingers.
@2thestreetz: *lights scented candle*
*accidentally burns down house*
*everyone agreed that it smelled amazing*
@AndrewBloch: Probably the best newspaper correction ever
@jonnysun: so im jus chilig on a ledge premtendig to be gargoyle when these firemen show up tellig me dont jump but they got a big trampoline so idk
@Token_Geezer: Everyone on twitter is single, pretending to be single, or about to be single