@blondediva11: Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
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@batkaren: "You're auditioning for Scrooge," the casting agent says. "No family, no one loves you—" Batman starts clutching at the script, tearing up.
@MomOfTeen: That was THE best 10 hours of sleep I've ever had. Thanks for asking me to sleep with you! Huh. You look upset.
@lisaxy424: Cute skinny girls wearing weird mismatched clothes: hot quirky hipsters Me wearing weird mismatched clothes: homeless lady from the 80s
@Tups13: The stoners surround me very, very slowly. Three of them are eating cereal. "Look guys," I explain. "When I said I had a pot belly..."