@LuvPug: Sneaking alcohol into work is pretty easy if you put it in your stomach first.
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@evildadatron: Maybe the Loch Ness Monster is really just giraffes that don't want people to know they like to swim YOU DON'T KNOW
@Pierre__4: If you truly want my undivided attention start to tell me something then say never mind
@jakefromstfarm3: When I was a kid I made all of my toys watch Toy Story so that they knew I was on to them.
@hoedeehoe: (1st day in heaven) Me: Whoa- is that Elvis? Angel- no, it's an impersonator M: Wow, is that... A: listen man all we got is impersonators