@LuvPug: Sneaking alcohol into work is pretty easy if you put it in your stomach first.
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@AimeeHelene1: I was sitting there getting my hair cut, when a spider ran across the floor. And that's how you accidentally get bangs.
@curlycomedy: Songs with lyrics like, "We don't need sleep," why are you rebelling against naps? What are you--four?
@StarWarsProblms: Rey: Why do you hide behind a mask? Kylo Ren: *takes off his mask to reveal his real face* Rey: Wow. Put the mask back on.