@RandomAntics: Sneaking into your house and eating just enough of the marshmallows out of your Lucky Charms to make you sad, but not suspicious.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: Why are we here? Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions
@myonlymizztake: [Bending down with my hands on my knees] "Where is your mother?" ~ me to anyone under the age of 30
@MandiAtRandom: A car almost ran into me and I screamed "WOAHHHHHH THERE BUCKAROO" I could have died and those would have been my last words