@AKATriple: So apparently it's rude if somebody asks if you have a light & you tell them they'll have to go to the end of the tunnel to find it...
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@Brianhopecomedy: Saw a phone booth. Hopped in. Came out. Didn't become Superman. Now it just looks like I was hiding while that lady was getting mugged.
@ShutUpThatsWho: [spelling bee] JUDGE: your word is 'contempt' ME: can you use it in a sentence? JUDGE: [mocking voice] can you use it in a sentence?
@awordforaword: "Finish your peas. Kids in China are starving" "Finish your math. Kids in America are cheating off the Asian kids"
@LoneWolfStories: Autocorrect changed smell to spell but you know what? Your spelling is horrible too.