@NikiWithIssues: So apparently not every chubby guy with a mustache is named Mario. My bad, dad.
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@SamGrittner: When a woman asks me how long I can last in bed I tell her it depends on how long someone brings me food and water but probably years.
@Book_Krazy: *pulls up to window* Me: *on phone* Ok, so you want a chocolate shake also? Ok, I'll get two then. *phone rings while its at my ear*
@shivkumarrx: What should you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant???? #RT
@ieatanddrink: I used to think I could control ducks with my mind but it turns out ducks & I just have very similar ideas about what stuff ducks should do