@Phook75: So apparently RSVP'ing back to a wedding invite 'maybe next time' isn't the correct response
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@noog: Cop: Is that a turtle? Me: ... Cop: Painted blue? Me: ... Cop: With nails glued on? Me: ... Cop: Mario Kart's not real Me: YOURE NOT REAL
@Papa_Mex: The sonogram of your baby looks awesome!* So clear!** And he looks happy!*** *Creepy **Is it a human? ***I think you're having a racoon
@Brianhopecomedy: *2 year old runs by screaming* *72 ducks chasing her* "YOU HAVE TO LET GO OF THE BREAD."
@CovertAgentP: Hollywood sets impossible standards we can never live up to. Not even once have I saved people from dinosaurs with my knowledge of Unix.