@Phook75: So apparently RSVP'ing back to a wedding invite 'maybe next time' isn't the correct response
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@Thynebear: *cop approaches me* "have u seen this girl?" *holds up photo* "yeah I've seen her, NAKED" *hi-5* "haha but seriously shes in my trunk"
@RatBatallion: The first rule of Mormon fight flub is go door to door talking about Mormon fight club .
@jake_likes_naps: Her: are you single? [flashback to 2011 where I tried to kiss a girl but she turned away and I kissed her cheek] Me: haha idk
@StarWarsProblms: Han: Leave us alone, you fat slug! Jabba: *speaks Huttese* C-3PO: The mighty Jabbs says your words are hurtful. He has a thyroid problem.