@Dawn_M_: So embarrassing when you leave the bathroom and someone points out you have toilet paper stuck to your teeth.
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@SarcasticAlly12: When a kid wants to snuggle it means you're about to get warmth in your heart and an elbow to every single one of your other organs.
@Cheeseboy22: If the Pottery Barn didn't want me to bring my goat in the store, they shouldn't have called it a barn.
@BuckyIsotope: MAMA Be quiet Freddie JUST KILLED A MAN As your lawyer I- PUT A GUN AGAINST HIS HEAD Just- PULLED THE TRIGGER- We plead guilty, Your Honor
@Marlebean: *sees cute doctor in scrubs* *falls over* HELP! I need mouth-to-mouth! Doc: ... Me: Aren't you obligated to help? Husband: GET UP!