@carlyken: So far my toddler's most impressive defense mechanism is pooping his pants every time anyone rings our doorbell.
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@fro_vo: Interviewer: congrats you got the security guard job Me: *already asleep on a folding chair* Interviewer: hang on u don’t start til monday
@vineyille: If you like piña coladas / Getting caught in the rain / Drink this piña colada / It was caught in the rain
@OneFunnyMummy: On bad days I like to take a pregnancy test to remind myself that things could be much worse.