@carlyken: So far my toddler's most impressive defense mechanism is pooping his pants every time anyone rings our doorbell.
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@EJGomez: employee: over 100 ppl were killed by the dinosaurs again CEO: my God [10yrs later] CEO: what if we made a dinosaur theme park again lmao
@MichaelTrying: Darwin is a genius. Just realized I'm attracted to women in glasses because I'm more likely to reproduce with a woman who can't see me well.