@garrettbarry70: So, I bought a wok to cook healthy food and I have to say, these french fries don't taste any different.
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@KababPapi: Americans: Muslims are so violent Me: ok but police co- Americans: shut up. Don't judge a group of people based off a select few.
@Adar79Angie: When my family says things like...why don't you have kids yet? I say "Because I didn't get drunk & do the football team, Sasha."
@yenniwhite: Parenting goals before having kids: make tons of blanket forts, never lose your temper, appreciate every minute. After: sit down.
@WGladstone: "She's got legs. She knows how to use them." "So she's ambulatory then?" "... I guess?" "And is that really all you're looking for?"