@_SingleBabyMama: So, I'm officially off the market. Got a DM from a faceless Avi proposing marriage in broken English. We're planning a June wedding!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Marshalchisomcu: if you watch Titanic from d back; it's about dead people resurrecting from the sea, pulling up a ship fixing it and sailing to England
@thatdutchperson: [first date] Her: I just love eating clean and staying healthy, you know? Me:*flashback to the time I cry-ate two lasagnas* Totally
@briancthayer: Kid 1: Hurt my elbow School Nurse: Here's an ice pack K2: *fever* SN: Ice pack K3: *diarrhea* SN: Ice pack K4: *decapitated* SN: Ice pack
@Tommytoughstuff: [Bank robbery] *Other robbers jump into getaway van* "DRIVE! DRIVE! DRIVE!" "Okie dokie." * Starts to adjust mirrors*