@jctwritesstuff: So let me get this straight. A dude comes back to life after three days and no one cuts his head off?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KeetPotato: elephants are scared of mice they're like 100x their size, stupid massive wimps [a wasp flies in my car and i completely drive off a bridge]
@ojedge: [train] MAN EATING NUTS: "Want one?" [offers bag] MAN IN TRENCHCOAT: "May I have… seven?" [coat rustles excitedly]
@WritePlay: T-REX: So you going to Tim's surprise party? TIM TRICERATOPS (behind them): My what? RAPTOR: More like Tyrannosaurus Wrecks EVERYTHING
@AudreyPorne: a horror film where the victim walks into her kitchen and everyone she's muted on twitter is standing there drinking coffee