@jctwritesstuff: So let me get this straight. A dude comes back to life after three days and no one cuts his head off?
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@RandySmithWhat: "[I] broke up with him because I was sick of justifying his trench coat to my friends" - Overheard on the bus
@Abusitron: [coffee shop] *casually puts arm around wife* *reaches up to Free Wifi sign with a pen* *changes last "i" to an "e", draws downward arrow*
@nbadag: DATE: so...this is your place? ME: yea...not fancy but it suits me. *opens flap of bouncy house* oh, also do you mind taking off your shoes