@jctwritesstuff: So let me get this straight. A dude comes back to life after three days and no one cuts his head off?
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@WilliamAder: I think Diane knows I was her Secret Santa at this morning's office party, because this afternoon I had to borrow my stapler back from her.
@CourtneyBale: Theravada Monks purge all their earthly possessions to express their faith and pursue spiritual stillness of mind. I did it because fleas.
@TheDailySchmuck: I hate when I shape my hand like a phone to tell someone to call me, but they're in their 20s and don't know what phones used to look like.