@TheBoydP: So let me get this straight, she shot someone through the heart and the worst thing you can say about her is that she gives love a bad name?
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@ComedicBust: Prevent your neighbors from ever awkwardly waving at you again by hanging a Russian flag today.
@junejuly12: Guy jogging pushing stroller for two kids. But only one there. Don't think he knows he lost one.
@dumbbeezie: Sure I'll come to your costume party. I'll be a ninja. If you don't see me then you know I took the challenge seriously
@mattZillaaaa: [job interview] HR: Says here you're very good at multi-tasking *me taking a selfie & spinning in chair HR: *whispering "wow he's good"