@Halbeerz: So Nickelback is playing a flood relief concert for Alberta. Like those folks haven't suffered enough.
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@CornOnTheGoblin: she loves me [takes bite of hotdog] she loves me not [takes another bite of hotdog]
@jimmytorosian: Me: I just souped up my car Person: What kind of engine did you put in it? *cut to me filling my car with tomato soup* Me: Um... A fast one.
@Home_Halfway: WAITER:What would you like? ME:What would YOU like? W:Excuse me? M:No one ever asks you, do they? W:*tearing up* No.. they don't. Thank you.