@beeple: so proud of america. only 8 years after electing first black pres, we're considering electing our first orange one
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@DraggingFeeties: "Your meal is being prepared and should be delivered in 30-45 minutes" Perfect. Just enough time to eat a sleeve of Oreos.
@Phook75: If a Donkey and Zebra ever mate they'd have to call the offspring a Zonkey because Debra is already taken.
@Bob_Janke: Squirrels don't want to wear shoes no matter how cold it is I tell the emergency room physician
@djdarrellripley: It turns out condoms aren't 100% effective, unless you actually take them out of your wallet...