@Pulse_NYC: So proud of myself...6 whole months without smoking! Today I was able to ride the elevator all the way to the top without getting winded.
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@ArfMeasures: WIFE [in labour] GOD MAKE IT STOP MIDWIFE: The baby's WIFE: NO, THE NOISE ME [stops playing pan pipes] Is the nurse being too loud, love?
@TheMichaelRock: Bad news: I just stepped on the cat. Even worse news: I think I just created a Nicki Minaj song.