@GuyThe_Guy: So we agree when the zombies come we feed em the teenagers first, right?
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@JustDontBugMe: My refrigerator has an excessive amount of leftovers for someone that eats as much as I do.
@SoulYodeler: Signs your wife is cheating: 1. Weird cologne 2. Emotional distance 3. Late-night abences 4. She introduces you to her boyfriend
@3sunzzz: [aquarium exit] Excuse me ma'am, would you mind opening your bag? I beg your pardon?! OPEN YOUR BAG *opens bag and reveals two penguins*