@JordyHamrick: So what happens if I neglect to "safely" remove the USB from the OH DEAR GOD THE BLOOD.
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@crushingbort: "Mr Bush, do you want my coke?" "Yeah sure" *Bush drinks coke as kid walks away* "Hey kid...catch" *kid turns around to see incoming plane*
@garrydavenport: Next time my 5 y/o says "Daddy, guess what?", I'm going to refuse to let her continue until I can actually guess, even if it takes 7 years.
@KalvinMacleod: WIFE: how old is your daughter? WIFE’S FRIEND: she’s eight going on nine. ME: *whispering* That’s how numbers work