@mc_funbags: So you've had white presidents, a black president and now an orange one. I'm crossing my fingers for the Hulk next time around.
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@AndyAsAdjective: [my kid, literally every school morning] "I hate mornings. I'm not getting up" [1st day of summer vacation] "dad, can we watch the sunrise"
@fightforfood: A funny thing to do when someone's dog barks at you is say, "I don't speak dog," and then when they leave the room, speak dog fluently.