@lecalabara: Sober me will always have your back.Drunk me will convince you to get a tattoo of a unicorn doing a dolphin over a rainbow on your back.
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@Kneevyl: If it weren't for dating sites, I'd still have some self-esteem. Thank God, it's all gone now.
@Sickayduh: Me: Guess what Her: What Me: The opposite of Aquaman Her: ... Me: Is Landlady Her: ... Me: ... Her: Your rent is still due tomorrow Me: Ok
@LurkAtHomeMom: I wish the dude that jogs around my neighborhood all day would wear a Super Mario costume. And occasionally duck into sewers.