@IamEnidColeslaw: some days you look in the mirror and all you see is a Botero painting
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@brendohare: By the end of their life, everyone will have appeared in at least two Fast & Furious movies
@Storminika: My kid needs me to help him with a report on any famous black scientist. Can we do Dr. Dre?
@erikbransteen: Kanye West tweeted that Bieber's 'What Do You Mean?' was 2015's best song. The "...which wouldn't happened without me" tweet coming soon.
@ibid78: *interrupts your baby's first words* "IF A PANDA WEARS A HANDKERCHIEF IT'S CALLED A PANDANA."