@IamEnidColeslaw: some days you look in the mirror and all you see is a Botero painting
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@protolalia: If I were Jesus I would be seriously spooked by all the buildings with giant crosses.
@GrumpyBahr: Me: Grandma died, can't work today. Boss: Thought she died last month? Me: This time she is for real dead. We poked her with a stick.
@Darlainky: What he said, "Let's just drop it." What I heard, "I can't think of a single way to win this argument, I bow to your wit and intelligence."