@iscoff: Some dude was bragging about his brother being a navy seal and it's like...I don't care what colour he is, why is your brother a seal
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@internetluke: [plane] "Is there a doctor on board?" Im a doctor "Okay quick the passenger is having a heart att- Of fine arts "What?" Doctor of Fine Arts
@RdrJay47: [Food Network: Cake Wars] As the team barely delivers their massive cake to the judges table. Cat Judge pushes it off the table
@david8hughes: "HONEY, MY TOOTHBRUSH IS MOVING!" "Has it got ears?" "YEAH." "Tail?" "YEAH." "Is it the dog?" "I THINK I KNOW THE DIFF--AH IT BIT ME AGAIN!"