@RamblingMachine: Some fairy tales start with "once upon a time". Others start with "If I won the elections".
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@Manda_like_wine: Results are in: a lot of people took the "never change" yearbook inscription way too seriously.
@envydatropic: I've been on my best behavior ever since the words "you can be charged as an adult" applied to me
@shamans_heal: Pro Tip: If you leave an assortment of tissues, cold medicine, and a big bag of cough drops visible on your desk, coworkers will avoid you!
@lovemyboots111: How do you know your man is cheating? When he drives by her place the wifi connects