@RamblingMachine: Some fairy tales start with "once upon a time". Others start with "If I won the elections".
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@aPunch2theJunk: I work with a guy named Rick. I'm pretty sure he spells his name with a silent "P."
@thatUPSdude: Me: This infomercial is so stupid. *10 mins later* Me: So all I have to pay on the 2nd one is the shipping and handling?
@krustythe_klown: Dearly beloved, we are gathered her today to place bets on how long this marriage will last because these idiots met 2 months ago.