@mattZillaaaa: Some girl is stalking me & has been telling ppl I'm her boyfriend. I'm flattered but I prefer to be the psychotic one in the relationship
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@causticbob: Piers Morgan has taken a very strong stance against guns, and who can blame him? If you had a gun, you'd shoot him too.
@seamussaid: FYI: hey my wife came home in a terrible mood and I figured I'd read her one of my tweets to cheer her up, turns out that's a bad idea guys