@BradBroaddus: Some guy just passed toilet paper under the stall without me even asking. I'm not sure if he is a pervert or a wizard.
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@ValeeGrrl: My daughter spelled America "Merica" on a book report so now I'm searching her room for Trump campaign propaganda.
@jwoodham: If your building doesn't have an elevator and you don't live on the first floor, we can't date. I'm looking for a relationship, not a gym.
@iamspacegirl: Me *writing*: she was like 12 slices of key lime pie in a dress- tart, cool, totally whipped. Her: I can hear you. Me: she could hear me