@TheMichaelRock: Some guy robbed a local gas station and stole $700 worth of cigarettes. I wonder what he'll do with both packs.
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@lazerdoov: *bursts into starbucks* Me: DO YOU GUYS HAVE A POWER OUTLET Barista: yeah over there Me: oh thank god *plugs in a mechanical bull*
@realHamOnWry: There's a difference between when a woman is furious and when she's irate. It's the difference between sleeping on the couch or in a casket.