@TheMichaelRock: Some guy robbed a local gas station and stole $700 worth of cigarettes. I wonder what he'll do with both packs.
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@david8hughes: Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father Luke: really? Darth Vader: yeah. Why? Luke: you have the voice of a heavyset black guy is all
@davedittell: well, son, we named you after where you were conceived; that's why you're called The Frightening, Tyrannical Hellscape of Obama's America
@upsidedowntrash: [1st Day working at Hotel California] Guest: Id like 2 check out Me: Sure! Youre all set! G: Thanks! [Leaves] Boss: Can I see u in my office