@TheMichaelRock: Some guy robbed a local gas station and stole $700 worth of cigarettes. I wonder what he'll do with both packs.
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@jonnysun: im more than just a birth year and a death year so my tombstone will instead be engraved with a handful of random years i remember enjoying
@Stellacopter: Imagine falling in love with someone and finding out they raise their hand at the end of a long boring meeting to ask a question.
@jackiembouvier: If I ever go missing, put up fliers saying I left a dog in a hot car so people will actually look for me.
@Laser_Cat: A fun prank to pull on a neighbor is to introduce a species of invasive grass into his lawn.