@lisaxy424: "SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP" I yell at the neighbor I can hear vacuuming at 1pm in the afternoon.
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@sumpeoplelikeit: If you have a tattoo on your head, you've lost the right to ask me what I'm looking at.
@HTownHarold: Just killed a cricket at work, and, long story short, I'm now being asked to audition for Riverdance.
@KKAlThani: If I had a boy I'd name him "Opportunity" & whenever he knocks on the door I'll say "I bet that's opportunity knocking" & laugh with my wife