@TrueTorontoGirl: Some of you are like family to me. I don’t want you calling me either.
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@GabbbarSingh: The only entities which will survive a nuclear holocaust will be the c**kroaches and a book packed by Flipkart.
@WickedCynic: Autocorrect changed "meeting" to "mating" and now my boss and I aren't meeting with Bob after work.
@Dear_Booze: ME: "I'll have a rum & coke." HIM: "I can't serve you." ME: "Because I'm too drunk?" HIM: "No. 'cause this is a hardware store."