@LoveNLunchmeat: Some peanut butter M&M's just rolled under the fridge, and now I understand every sad love song ever written.
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@1Happytwit: It's not about the sacrifices you have to make, it's about making sure your knife is sharp and they can't wiggle away.
@TheTobbie: I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND WHY SOMEBODY WOULD BREAK INTO A HOUSE JUST TO STEAL A REMOTE CON-oh, never mind, I found it...
@MissNaughty1801: *approaches man sitting at the bar Me: would you like to dance Him: yeah! Me: that's great because I need to sit down
@HiddleDeeDee: 6: Mom, I'm going to be a Navy pilot or a SEAL. If that doesn't work, I'm going to work at Subway. It's all about the backup plan, people.