@fillthevacuum: Some people around here retweet like it's coming out of their booze allowance.
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@badbanana: I'll be celebrating my birthday the traditional way, by barging naked into a room full of strangers and crying.
@Brianhopecomedy: My wife said "vase" wrong so I corrected her and now we know that it can just barely fit over my head.
@TheThomason: One nice thing about your 30s is people talk less about figuring themselves out and more about where the best sandwiches are.