@imence2: Some people have no respect. It's obvious I'm on my phone trying to do something & this guys all "STEP OUT OF THE CAR WITH YOUR HANDS UP!"
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@TheHyyyype: [hs reunion] JANE: i'm an engineer TOM: i'm a real estate developer AMY: i'm a lawyer *everyone looks at me* ME: *panics* i'm a hospital
@Bob_Janke: Mom there's a boogie man in my closet! *mom looks and I'm standing there with an afro in a satin shirt and platform shoes
@HomeProbably: I wish I had the confidence in humanity that Guinness had when they bought a 9,000 year lease.
@SaraThomas84: The most dangerous piece of machinery a person can operate while drinking is the telephone