@Jake_Vig: Some people rescued a great white shark that washed up on a beach, just like sharks would do for us if we were carried out into the ocean.
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@MelanieShebel: I'm not saying the Internet lies, but there is an alarming discrepancy in the number of iPads I've won and the number that I actually own.
@Not_a_JesusGirl: I hate it when I'm at someone's house and they ask stupid questions like "Who are you?" and "Is that a gun?"
@Rollinintheseat: If you don't call your spouse "wonderful" when you're on a game show, you're legally required to get a divorce at the end of the show.