@WetzelGeek: "Some people say I'm an animal in the sack." - baby kangaroo
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@KenJennings: LIFE HACK tell the hotel you forgot your toothbrush. They don't even check, they just give you a brand new one!!! It's so sweet
@Dildo_Hitler: *sees Arnold Schwarzenegger working at Walmart* "hey Arnold, kitchen appliances are toward the back of aisle B right?" "YES. AISLE B, BACK"