@BoLenerf: Some people think I'm an uncultured lout but it's not true. For example, I know the 5-second rule on dropped food does not apply to soup.
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@kevinseccia: When did they decide that every razor had to look like a piece that fell off a Transformer?
@jordan_stratton: You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of America wouldn't notice... until they needed to wink at somebody.
@KindOfASmartass: I don't steal my tweets from song lyrics! Seriously. Y'all gon' make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here.
@buttgh0st: COP: can anybody else describe the suspect? JOHN LENNON: he got feet down below his knees COP: anybody