@gwatts77: Some psychologists say that sleeping naked can help boost a person's confidence, but nobody in this park seems to appreciate it.
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@KalvinMacleod: NEWS: 1.3 million people die in car accidents a year ME: [driving with my knees so I can put two hands on my burger] that's hard to believe
@BlindChow: [1st moon landing] Mission Ctrl: Be sure to say something important & profound Neil: Ok *steps onto moon* Neil: *clears throat* I'm a vegan
@mrjohndarby: *releases swarm of killer wasps* - ATTACK! *wasps fly off harmlessly in all directions* - Hmm... time for plan bee
@shesananteater: Boss: Where'd you go?? Me: I got all the way up front and realized I forgot my pen. Boss: Okay? Me: So I went to lunch.