@RichHarris2: Somebody called me a free spirit today and my heart leapt as I turned back to my paperwork.
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@jobless4eyes: Found a fly on his back by my keyboard. So dead. So sad. Put a cocktail umbrella by his head. Now he looks like he's suntanning.
@rose24_em: He whispered in my ear that he liked being called daddy. I whispered back that I liked being called a cab.
@longwall26: If a deadly alligator appears in the instant after you tell your friends you'll see them later there is literally no way to warn them