@SucculentPizza: Somebody in my gang is an undercover police horse. I've narrowed it down to Dave, Kyle and Sugarcube
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@illuminatedwndr: I always like to keep $7000.00 on me in case I wanna stop at Whole Foods and get some fruit
@KateWhineHall: "You're a HORRIBLE parent!" - my daughter because I won't let her use a chainsaw to make a treehouse.
@WheelTod: [Couples' Counselling] Her: If he doesn't stop talking in corporate cliches I'm leaving him Me (in tears): Please don't downsize our unit!
@GrumpyComments: It takes a keen ear to pick out a girl's "I haven't finished but I know you're about to, so I'll try to be supportive" moan.