@ilovepie84: Somebody should tell Forrest Gump that on the back of the box of chocolates it tells you exactly what you're going to get.
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@anon_mommy: Hubby's ex emailed him wanting to "reconnect". I wanna pretend to be him & set it up so I can re CONNECT my foot up her ass
@wittwitbarista: Ever notice how pathetically lonely you are when the person in the next bathroom stall completely ignores your knock knock joke?
@ArfMeasures: THERAPIST: I want us to share our emotions with the whole group today. Who wants to go first? ME: Me! T: Thank you! ME: [leaving] No problem