@just1fool: Someday I'm gonna open a pawn shop and blow everyone's mind when I only sell rooks, bishops and knights.
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@The_JRM: There's a woman here who, by the amount of makeup on her face, fought with a rainbow - and lost.
@iAmDelFreaky: Every time I eat a banana in public, a stranger offers me money to do it in private. I ate 32 bananas today & made $725. I have diarrhea.
@rsynder336x2: Wife: Can you fix this, the holes too big for the thingy majingy? Me: Hey I know how it feels! Hahaha! *And then I regained consciousness