@TravLeBlanc: Someone asked me what the sound of one hand clapping was so I slapped his face.
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@Thateverydayguy: Why is there a show called "When Animals Attack"? It should be called "When Stupid People Go Near Dangerous Animals."
@carlyken: 9: Mom! Where's my Spiderman costume? I want to wear it to the science museum "In your closet, why?" 9: DUH. To attract radioactive spiders!