@TravLeBlanc: Someone asked me what the sound of one hand clapping was so I slapped his face.
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@lecalabara: Caught my son running a Google search for "adult entertainment". I was mortified. We are strictly a Bing family.
@CerebralWreck: Titanic is my favorite movie about how to get rid of your boyfriend and make it look like an accident.
@Chumpstring: I let people know that I'm no weirdo. I say "I'm no weirdo!" From that point forward, it's just a matter of keeping my mouth off their pets.