@fillthevacuum: Someone gave me a star as a gift. I'm planning on sprucing it up with some planets and asteroids and using it as a summer vacation spot.
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@shesananteater: One day I'm gonna go to work without my glasses and they're gonna be like, "Who's that hottie?" and I'm gonna be like, "WHO IS SAYING THAT?"
@CulturedRuffian: My anaconda don't want none unless you use proper grammar and avoid using double negatives.
@Gre_Gone: [coming through customs] Okay Sir 1 last thing before we're done. Is there anything you'd like to declare? *slams passport* "I've had sex."