@MarkTConard: Someone hash-tagged "share the love," and I read it as "shave the love." I thought, yeah, I can get on board with that.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: I set a record for the rope climb in high school. 4-year-old: You climbed it the fastest? My wife: He cried the most.
@MelvinofYork: There is a woman on this plane going on vacation with a cat in a carrier. Because cats love surprises, travel, and unfamiliar surroundings.
@magsaidwhat: In the new version of Star Wars, Harrison Ford slowly flies the Millenium Falcon in the left lane with the turn signal on
@UncleBob56: Me: Push! Grandkids: But, you're heavy. Me: What did the sign say? Grandkids: No children in shopping cart :(( Me: Rules are rules.