@duplicitron: Someone left a really nice couch out on the street so I went home and got a lamp and TV and this is where I live now.
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@NJPsychDoc: My therapist says that to be happy in marriage, never go to sleep mad at each other. Been mad at my wife 2 months straight cause of insomnia
@CorkyKneivel: I loathe tweets like "Be somebody's beautiful tragedy". Might as well tweet using a random word generator. "Be golf brisket honkytonk"
@Kendragarden: If I'm ever possessed, I hope the demon remembers these curls need product to bounce.