@timdonakowski: Someone needs to break it to my cat that she is not a security guard and my bathroom is not a VIP section.
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@Token_Geezer: It’s not fair how teenagers today can avoid social interaction with family by staring at their phones I had to show my contempt by grunting
@Shock_Monster: My dream job? That's easy: Be one of those Muppets that sit up in balcony making fun of everyone. That's Old School Twitter.