@timdonakowski: Someone needs to break it to my cat that she is not a security guard and my bathroom is not a VIP section.
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@PinkCamoTO: Me: I got my first TOTD! It's exciting! Him: What's that? M: um, well, it's an imaginary trophy... H: well then I'm imaginary proud of you.
@jackiembouvier: Maybe, if I sit very still, this nice family at Olive Garden won't notice that I'm sitting at their table eating their bread sticks.
@WalkingOutside: Kids are like doughnuts. Sweet and yummy but more than one, maybe two, and you're like, "What the hell have I done?"