@thatdutchperson: Someone rang my doorbell twice this morning, so I guess I'm having lunch behind the couch.
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@Marlebean: "I have to eat every 7 minutes or I get cranky." "Ma'am, that's not a valid reason to be excused from jury duty."
@Contwixt: The day we decided such footwear would be called "flip-flops" was not our most creative moment.
@Bob_Janke: Whenever I have to fix a hole in any wall I always hide a realistically drawn but totally fake treasure map in there first.
@Adar79Angie: I'm scared. I have this weird stabby pain in my chest and it really hurts and..Dorito. It was a Dorito in my bra.